


Team Disaster: Did It Again

by YunaYamiMouto



Series: Team Disaster [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fourth Shinobi War, Gen, Humor, M/M, Madara for Hokage!, Madara is so done, Naruto should not be indulged, Ootsutsuki bullshit, dimension hopping, mad scientist Tobirama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:16:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25240744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YunaYamiMouto/pseuds/YunaYamiMouto
Summary: When a shinobi alliance, five Kage, Konoha 12, the four reanimated Hokage and the biju aren't enough to defeat Uchiha Madara, then surely THEY will be! Right? Well, Naruto's risking it anyways!
Relationships: Konoha 12 - Relationship, Namikaze Minato & Senju Tobirama & Uchiha Madara & Uzumaki Mito & Kurama, Senju Hashirama & Senju Tobirama, Senju Hashirama & Uchiha Madara, Senju Hashirama/Uzumaki Mito, Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara, Team 7 - Relationship
Series: Team Disaster [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1714921
Comments: 22
Kudos: 146





	Team Disaster: Did It Again

**Author's Note:**

> Third installment of Team Disaster's disastrous lives! Please enjoy!

Madara sighed happily as he and Tobirama strolled at a leisurely pace down the streets of Konoha, which had thrived in the two years since the Fourth Shinobi War, simply enjoying the festival celebrating victory in said war, even if they were on patrol duty instead of enjoying the slowly approaching evening. He leaned against his lover, for once not minding that Tobirama had shot out like a tree and overtook him in height with the usual Senju giant genes, burrowing his face in his usual white fur that he wore no matter the weather.

"Enjoying yourself?" Came the teasing question and Madara nodded anyways, in far too good of a mood to care for said teasing.

"Hn. Wish we'd walk by that inarizushi stand again and then I'd be over the moon." It had taken some time but at least no one winced anymore at the mere mention of the celestial body hanging overhead. For months, either he or Tobirama had been asked to keep the clouds around Konoha at night but Ryujin refused and Tobirama had to be talked down from it by Madara himself, though it might have been more blackmail since Madara promised to not let him touch him again until he stopped with that nonsense. People would have to adjust and it was best not to teach new generations to fear a moon that no longer even acted as Otsutsuki Kaguya's prison, anyway. There won't always be people with the power to make clouds appear overhead due to a thunderstorm, after all.

"I have _no_ idea how you have such a delicious body given how much sweets you eat. There's no way our usual amounts of training can cover that. I _refuse_ to believe this isn't some Uchiha thing. Does the Sharingan burn away excess calories before it can be turned into fat? Does your katon _literally_ burn them off?"

The Uchiha couldn't help but laugh. Years may have passed, but Tobirama never changed. Not that he'd wish him to. He liked him just as he was. He liked their _life_ just as it was and was glad he had another three years of just being himself before he had to worry about the quasi-serious threat of the Hokage hat landing in his lap - or on his head, in this case. Minato-sensei was wonderful as Yondaime but he sometimes didn't have a choice in separating his (former?) students for weeks at a time and while Tobirama had went on rehabilitation from Madara's chakra three more times since the war, there were simply days that were bad and Madara's absence led to disasters popping up left and right until he could return. The people loved Namikaze Minato but they feared for their sanity none the less.

Senju Tobirama really hadn't changed all that much.

"Let's go check up on Mito and that log-brained brother of yours before you treat me to some inarizushi."

"Why do _I_ have to always buy you inarizushi? You make more than enough money yourself," the Senju grumbled with no real heat but Madara chose to tease him regardless. He leaned up to reach the younger male's ear and whispered so only the albino could hear.

"If you buy me inarizushi, I'll let you do that _thing_ you've wanted to for the last month when our shift ends." Then he sauntered off with a laugh, evading grabby hands when his lover tried to reel him back in and probably make him keep his end of the promise _now_. Not that Madara would have minded much but Tobirama could get possessive at the most random of moments and he'd rather not go before Hashirama and Mito with fresh hickies forming on his neck. Besides, teasing Tobirama's patience and self control was fun.

The bastard deserved it for even _insinuating_ that he won't buy him his rightfully deserved treat after a long day of patrol.

Peace may have been official for two years, but they were shinobi and life went as usual, competing for jobs and against each other while doing said jobs. Missions came and went, a new threat to the village popped up every now and then, some idiot tried to invade, the usual, really. And this day, when the war was won and Kaguya sealed away for good in a different dimension with the manifestation of her will gone forever from Earth, wasn't nearly as sacred to some as it should be. Hence Team Disaster, infamous and terrifying, was usually assigned watch despite an entire quarter of the festival being dedicated just to _them_ since they had been the ones to bring about the final - and all the more significant - victories. Only Hashirama wanted to propose to Mito tonight and asked Madara and Tobirama a favor, to stand in for Mito throughout the festival and the two had no heart nor desire to ruin this for him, which is why they'd spent most of the day on patrol.

Tobirama was quick to catch up to him and wrap a possessive arm around him as they sought out the happy couple. They both shook their heads when they caught sight of Izuna doing Touka's bidding like an obedient lovesick puppy and almost cursed when they nearly ran into Maito Dai. The guy still didn't understand Mito was already planning on how to name her and Hashirama's future children, therefore had no interest in actually going on a single date with the guy, so they always did their best to not lead him accidentally to their teammate and her boyfriend.

Normally, most people would _stay away_ when someone tells them they are planning to propose to their lover, but they were not _most people_. They were Team Disaster and they had felt the moment Hashirama had blurted the question out - quite literally, as Madara knew thanks to his handy-dandy crow helper and eye in the sky, gift from Itachi-sama as Kuro Onyx may be - and Mito's chakra spiked with surprise and immense joy, so they were on their way to give their congratulations, Madara already planning on how he will terrify his best friend into being the best possible husband in the world. Not that Hashirama needs any straightening up. He treats Mito like she's the most delicate of flowers and yet respects her strength and is actually a bit terrified of her at times so there was no worries about him, even if Madara didn't know him his whole life and knew his personality like the back of his hand.

It was just that messing with Hashirama was fun and it would me _Madara_ that got the honor of delivering a non-verbal shovel talk to him, no one else, as Mito is his sister in all but blood.

"There they are. Spirits, but anija looks so _stupid_."

"He's just happy his proposal went okay-ish. Give him some slack."

A huff. "When _I_ propose, I definitely won't look like _that_."

Madara nearly tripped over his feet and it wasn't just because of his partner's words. In fact, there was a strange tug at his chest that he registered just seconds before _it_ happened. " _Excuse_ you, _**when**_ -"

With a flash and a deafening boom, Uchiha Madara and Senju Tobirama disappeared into thin air, right in front of their third teammate's eyes.

Mito groaned, nearly smacking her forehead. "Not _again_."

00000

His teammates weren't as sure in his plan as Naruto was, but that was fine. They just didn't realize how _brilliant_ this move was and no, of course we don't _need_ to consult with Nidaime-jiichan about this, Sakura-chan, you heard what they'd said, we just need to overload it and we'll have some backup in no time! But Sakura-chan and that teme were skeptical even if Sasuke had agreed that they should use Nidaime-jiichan's special kunai - conveniently stolen for this very purpose by your's truly - to try and (reverse) summon those Team Disaster guys from another dimension to help them beat Madara since the ancient Uchiha was kicking their collective asses.

When a Shinobi Allience, five Kage, all of Konoha 12 (and Sai), Yamato-taichou, Kakashi-sensei, Gai-sensei, the four reanimated Hokage and the biju aren't enough to defeat Uchiha Madara (and Obito, but Madara was the big threat here) then _they_ surely will be! Right? Well, Naruto certainly thinks so and is willing to risk it anyways! It's not like they can _loose_ anything at this point. None of them has all that much chakra left except Naruto and that's only thanks to Kurama sharing his chakra with him. It's been a long day and an even longer war, for all that they've lasted approximately the same. Naruto just wanted to go back home and eat some of Ichiraku's finest ramen and be done with it.

"Ready, teme?"

"Hn."

"Alright, then let's do this!" Naruto held out the kunai to Sasuke and they both channeled as much chakra as they could manage into the marked weapon until it started glowing a bit too brightly for them to look at it and Sakura-chan intervened, kicking it out of their hands seconds before the explosion of sound - and everything else - hit them, causing the sound of battle to stop, everyone turning their attention to the source of the noise.

"- _when_!? What do you mean _when_!? Since when is it _when_!?" A familiar voice they'd been listening to for the good part of the fighting reached them and Naruto was aware that the Hokage stiffened, but all he did was sigh in relief because there being _two_ sources of that unfortunately familiar was meant that his plan had worked! Ha! Take that, Sasuke-teme, Sakura-chan!

"Would you relax? It's been well over _two years_! Does it really bother you that much?" Another familiar voice reached their ears and they all watched with bathed breath as the dust from the explosion settled, revealing two figures, familiar and yet not, standing at the bottom of the mini crater they'd created with their entrance. Sasuke and Naruto gulped, suddenly _very_ grateful to their sore fingers where Sakura had kicked them since they actually _had_ them as opposed to what would have happened had they foolishly kept holding the kunai.

"Of course not! But you didn't ask my permission and just _assumed_ \- Tobirama, why aren't we at the festival anymore?" An eighteen year old Uchiha Madara asked with a few confused blinks, his startled expression matched almost perfectly by a sixteen, seventeen year old Senju Tobirama, the two of them almost intimately close during their argument(?), just looking around themselves in surprise.

"For the record, this wasn't me," the white haired Senju said, looking around, taking note of the surroundings.

Madara's face soured. "Oh, not _this_ shit again! I am _done_ with Otsutsuki bullshit! Once was more than enough!" The teen looked around, ignoring all the gaping faces as he searched for an obvious source of their presence in a different dimension. "How did we get here, anyway? I want back. I was promised inarizushi, damn it!"

"Oh! We summoned you, dattebayo!" Naruto exclaimed, waving a hand to get the two - older - teens' attention, ignoring the facepalm Sakura-chan performed and Sasuke's grumbling. His excitement dampened when he couldn't see the alternate version of his father or that other Uzumaki anywhere. "Where are the other two, dattebayo?"

"You used my marker?" The teen Tobirama asked, glancing down at the blown up kunai they'd appeared besides. "Well, my educated guess would be that you didn't have enough chakra overwhelming the Hiraishin to bring all those who carry my marker through and instead only had enough for me and another person. Madara happened to be the one closest by, or it could be that an Uchiha aided in overloading the marker was what dragged him along. But then Minato-sensei and Mito could have been pulled through easily enough as well if we are talking about blood connections that takes presidence over proximity. Hm, this needs further investigating."

"The fuck it does! I'm not letting you mess with this again, you gods damned Senju! You'll blow us up!"

" _Tobirama_?" A horrified sounding Shodaime-jiichan asked and the two whirled around to look at the zombie, who was staring at them with wide eyes, the Nidaime-jiichan of this world looking honestly poleaxed at the sight of them. Hell, even Madara and the other reanimated Hokage couldn't get their jaws off the ground, staring at the two dimensional travelers in astonishment.

The live Senju Tobirama blinked, brows furrowing. "Anija, you look dreadful as an Edo Tensei."

"Oh my god," squeaked Sarutoi Hiruzen while the young Madara just facepalmed.

"Sweet Amaterasu, swallow me in your eternal flames and save me from this misery."

"Not yet," the young Tobirama insisted and the Uchiha at his side groaned in despair. "Wow. I look even harsher as an Edo Tensei. Makes me wonder what killed us, though."

"What?!" Sharingan eyes snapped up, taking in the sight of both Senju brothers before a fierce glare settled on the young face. People instinctively flinched back, expecting to be attacked and decimated in an instant. "Who killed you so I can go hunt them down and skin them alive?"

" _Madara_!?" Squeaked the Shodaime when he realized his friend was there, too. "You're so _young_! I-"

"Shut up, log-brain, I was talking to your crazy brother."

"Rude," the young Tobirama intoned without any offense in his voice, eyes going up to settle on a now fuming Uchiha Madara the adult. "Oh. Well, seems you really _are_ this world's Uchiha Sasuke and doing a damned fine job of it. Definitely better than that asshole."

"Why would you care how I died?" The reanimated Tobirama demanded, glaring at the younger Madara, who only _rolled his eyes_. _Fondly_. Some people nearly fainted in shock.

"So I can protect my dumbass mad scientist from falling to the same fate. Listen, we come from a universe that has an inverted timeline to this one and-"

"Why would you care if Senju Tobirama lived or died!?" The adult Madara screeched at the top of his lungs, finally making young Madara acknowledge his counterpart, only to blanch at the sight of him.

"Tsukuyomi preserve me, is that a _Hashiboob_!? Sweet gods, that can't be unseen! _Why_ do I have Sharingan recollection!? What have I done in my previous life to _deserve_ this torture!? Shut up, Tobirama." The younger of the teens shut his mouth but a smirk still remained. Then he blinked and took a better look at the other Madara and grimaced. Apparently he'd only now seen his brother's likeliness on another man's breast.

"If you even _think_ of doing that-"

" _Don't_ ," the Uchiha cut in again, glaring at his companion before looking at his counterpart. "He's mad. He's definitely mad. What the fuck happened to _you_!?"

" _Me_!? _You're_ the one being all cozy with Tobirama!"

"We grew up together! Of course we're cozy!"

"Aside for other reasons," the young Tobirama added with a smirk, earning himself a glare from his partner. "But never mind _that_ ," he brushed them off and pointed towards Obito. "How does he fit in here, anyway? He looks only a bit younger than the Obito _we_ fought."

"Don't know," the younger Uchiha said with a shrug. "Middle generation or something."

"Wait, are you saying you're from another dimension, an alternate reality? Really?" The Yondaime Hokage asked and both dimension travelers turned to look at the familiar voice, blinking again, startled.

"Minato-sensei? What the fuck killed _you_? And for that matter, no one answered my earlier question!" Teen Madara yelled, sounding agitated while teen Tobirama frowned, worried.

"I, uh, died when I used Hakke no Fuin Shiki to seal a part of the Kyuubi no Yoko's chakra in my son, Naruto-" He gets a weird look at that from the two, not that he seems to notice with his eyes closed as he sheepishly rubs the back of his head. "-And Shiki Fuijin to seal the other part away so no one could use it. In consequence, it kind of got stuck inside of me-" There was some blushing from the two, which Naruto didn't understand, but Kakashi-sensei looked rather uncomfortable and Sandaime-jiichan was looking away with a cough. "And so here we are. I, uh, that is ... Obito was behind the Kyuubi Attack?"

"We know _that_ ," teen Tobirama said, unable to quite meet the blond man's eyes. "But why do something so stupid? Why not just get an Uchiha to wrestle control away from him? Madara managed it without the Mangekyo and he was _eleven_ , so surely _someone_ could have helped. Besides, there are better seals to use than the Hakke no Fuin Shiki. In fact, Mito, our Minato-sensei, Kushina-sama and myself made a seal and then modified it in minutes so that Kurama-san may leave the confines of the seal as he wishes without harming his Jinchuriki. It was incredibly handy during the Foruth Shinobi War, since she didn't almost _die_ when Uchiha Sasuke finally managed to wrangle Kurama-san into the Gedo Statue. What?"

"You managed to control to take control from other me with the base Sharingan as a fucking preteen!?" Obito screeched, pointing a finger at teen Madara, who rolled his eyes.

"I am the best Sharingan user to date, have enough chakra to bench-press a biju and am the second coming of the Uchiha Dragoness. _Believe me_ , there was nothing your alternate could have done that would have stopped me from taking control of Kurama to save my family, friends and village."

"That's not a name I've heard in a long, _long_ time when in reference to myself," adult Madara said, earning himself an incredulous look from his younger counterpart. Young Tobirama snorted.

"He's starting to hear less and less of it, too, as Ryukyu-sama is slowly starting to be called the prelude to 'Uchiha fucking Madara'. She finds great amusement in this."

The older Madara immediately glared at the albino, teeth bared in a growl. "Why would _you_ know my _mother_?"

The other Madara arched an eyebrow. "Because he's been hanging around me since he was four and I just turned six and Kaa-chan and Kira-sama are best friends and each other's maids of honor at their weddings and Kira-sama is my godmother, maybe? Or how about that we've been on a team together for the bast seven years, since we graduated the Academy together with Mito?"

"Mito? Uzumaki Mito, my beloved wife?" Hashirama asks and young Tobirama absently corrects him about her being his fiancee in their world. "But Madara and Mito hate each other! In fact, Madara and Tobirama hate each other! Especially since Tobirama struck Izuna down in one of the last battles of the war-"

"He _what_!?" Both dimension-hopper screeched at the top of their voice, making Hashirama wince. Adult Tobirama tensed.

"It was war, anija, don't make it sound like I did it out of pleasure-"

"I'm going to kill him," young Tobirama interrupted, hand suddenly holding the legendary Raijin no Ken, making Team 7 flinch back a little, recalling how lucky they'd been to survive fighting against it when Aoi was using it back in their genin days.

Young Madara surprised them with his reaction. "What!? Oh no you fucking don't!" He suddenly stood between the two Tobiramas, looking a bit murderous. "No one's killing anyone until I understand what the fuck is going on here! No, not you, shut the fuck up, Hashbrown, I need some reliable intel here! Let's start with why _Izuna_ 's dead, why Tobirama is dead, why Hashirama is dead and why other me is dead and unhinged!"

"He's probably unhinged because of him!" Tobirama junior exclaimed, pointing an almost dramatic finger at Tobirama senior, who huffed and puffed up almost like an offended cat. "I had to drag you back from near madness when _he_ -" The white haired teen pointed a finger at Obito, startling him enough to fall into a defensive stance. "And his cronies infiltrated Konoha and killed our little brothers and fathers!"

"Well, they're both already dead, anyway, so what's the point of killing yourself over it!? I'm not letting you develop suicidal tendencies more than you already have for your crazy experiments! I will _not_ bury you as well!"

"Is everyone seriously going to ignore the whole other dimension deal in this whole situation?" The Sandaime Hokage asked, making Madara and Tobirama the younglings blink, turning to stare at him incredulously.

"Is that-"

"No, it _can't_ be-"

"But his chakra-"

"Oh dear heavens, it _is_ -"

"Hiruzen?!"

The Sandaime blinked. "You both know me, too?" At this point, the fighting was completely forgotten as everyone just stood there and stared, watching the drama unfold.

"You're so _old_ , fuck!" Young Tobirama surprised them by exclaiming, looking ready to tear his hair out despite him knowing perfectly well that the timelines were inverted between their two dimensions. "You're only a couple of years older than us back home!"

"And you used to be my sensei. Well, he did," the old man - the oldest person currently present around the two dimension-hoppers - said casually, nodding pointedly at the older Tobirama who was staring at young Madara and young Tobirama like they were a particularly fascinating specimen. "So you can guess how weird it would be for me to see you as a teenager. What are you, eighteen?"

"Seventeen," the teen albino corrected and the Sandaime suddenly looked ready to faint, seemingly out of nowhere. "As for your confusion over alternate dimensions, we accidentally came to this dimension sometime before-"

"Three months ago," Sakura filled in, to which teen Tobirama nodded in thanks.

"Due to a Hiraishin accident. Namely, apparently, when you overload the Hiraishin enough, it can transport people through dimensions, allowing the user to jump realities. Last time we were here, we had Minato-sensei and Mito along for the ride and it had been, what, three, four months since our Fourth War ended? Anyway, Madara was on a mission and Mito and I got bored-"

" _You_ got bored and decided it would be a good idea to fuck around with the Hiraishin we _all_ regularly use!" Madara junoir interrupted, but the younger teen just kept going like there had been nothing interfering with his retelling of events.

"And decided to test what would happen, if we could recreate the Rinne-Sharingan's or Kamui's ability to travel dimensions-"

" _That's_ what you were trying to do!? _Fuck_ , Tobirama!"

"And then Minato-sensei got involved and we were charging it for our first test but then Madara decided to use it-"

"You were all clustered around the same mark!"

"What do you mean, Madara decided to use it!?" This time, adult Tobirama also tried to interrupt, but the young one just kept going.

"And that overloaded the seal to the point that it forced us to jump dimensions without our consent. We ended up here, Madara humiliated a bunch of your chuunin - you guys need better training - we regrouped, chatted and then went home by overloading the Hiraishin seal marker again. Now, apparently, that blond Namikaze-Uzumaki boy that claims our sensei is his father recreated the effect in hopes of summoning us here to, what, exactly?"

"Help us defeat Madara, dattebayo!" The Kyuubi's Jinchuriki immediately answered, getting stares from everyone except those who had been around for the last visit.

"Do you seriously think a couple of kids would help!?" A hysterical shinobi asked from somewhere and young Madara and Tobirama went stiff as boards, looking highly offended.

"I will have you know Team Disaster is the one who had saved _our_ world, you mongrel, while the rest of it was stuck in fucking Infinite Tsukuyomi!" Madara the younger snapped, eyes turning to the Mangekyo Sharingan in his ire. "Besides, other than a few beings not originally of this world, I am quite possibly the most powerful person on Earth and that's when I _don't_ ask Ryujin for help."

"You still have a contract with Ryujin?" Adult Madara asked, sounding incredulous and ... _wistful_?

The other Madara arched a condescending eyebrow. "You don't?"

"Hashirama destroyed the claim back during the war," was the bitter reply, a gloved hand absently touching his left hip, as though able to feel something through armor and clothing.

"I was under the impression that the claim didn't work like the seal and was pretty much for forever?" Young Tobirama asked of his companion, who nodded, rolling his eyes at his older, alternate self.

"The claim's pretty much just for show, as a sign for everyone else to back the fuck off from his kin. Not that you'd be able to summon him as you are now, all dead and Edo Tensei-ed."

"As if I would ever call on him for a useless war," the older Madara replied and everyone just stared at the two, no one sure what to make of them.

"You _are_ aware that the Otsutsuki, the Rikkudo Sennin's birth clan, are the ones responsible for Ryujin being the last of his kind, right?"

"I thought the Sage of Six Paths is just a legend," Inuzuka Kiba mumbled to himself but young Tobirama seems to have heard him and snorted.

"Oh, he's all too real, alright, and a right bastard, too. Takes up more after his mother than you'd think."

"You met the Sage?" Older Tobirama asks and live Tobirama huffs, annoyed.

"Unfortunately. Tried to convince Madara and Hashirama that they should enact his sons' fate since they were their 'reincarnations', but none of us was having that, not Mito, not Kushina-sama, not Izuna-"

"Don't you dare say my brother's name, Senju!" Older Madara snapped before turning hesitant, hopeful eyes to Madara junior. "Izuna is alive?"

"On a date with Touka as we speak."

"Well, there's a disturbing image to haunt my afterlife," Hashirama grumbled to himself, earning himself a glare from both versions of the pair. "So, what? Your world is some perfect utopia version of ours?"

"Don't be ridiculous, anija," sniffed Tobirama junior. "We were just smarter, apparently, to root out most of the bigger problems ourselves instead of letting them fester. Unlike this world, we have the Uchiha, hale and healthy and whole, the Senju are doing just fine, our Uzushio seems to have preserved while your's is empty of life - probably in ruins, too, if I'd have to guess - and we got rid of the threat to future generations of our clans. Team Disaster personally took down ninety percent of the Akatsuki, we have a strong connection with the Fire Daimyo through Ryukyu-sama and Madara-"

"What?"

"My grandmother was a rebellious daughter of one of the Daimyo's closest advisers, you idiot, and my granduncle is this Daimyo's personal adviser! How could you _not_ know!?"

"-and with Sunagakure through friendship with the new Kazekage. Honestly, the only thing missing is putting Madara into the hat and everyone would be happy."

" _I_ wouldn't be happy since I'd be subjected to being your babysitter for the rest of my life!" Young Madara yelled at the top of his voice, which turned out to be _really_ loud. "If they force the hat on me the second I turn twenty one, I'm defecting from the village! I will _not_ be Hokage just because no one in Konoha wants to be subjected to a lifetime of _your_ crazy experiments the second I set foot out of the gates!"

"I'm not that bad-"

"The last time we were here, it was because I was gone for _two days_! I ran into Izuna on the way and he'd been snickering like a little weasel as he struggled to tell me what you were up to! And the guards at the gate had looked _terrified_! If I get fucking shackled to the village, I will make you and Mito my advisers out of _spite_! Susano'o knows Elder Kurenai definitely needs a break! And you need to coral that Danzo! He's becoming obsessed with you!"

"Jealous, Madara?"

That drew the shouting Uchiha up short, his face going completely blank. Silence descended on the field, thick and suffocating as they all waited with bathed breath for a response while the older versions of the Uchiha and the Senju protesting to themselves about the implications behind the younger albino's words.

Then... "I withdraw my offer from earlier. Officially as of this point, you are no longer allowed to touch me at all, period. If you even _think_ about trying that trick with entering full, perfect feral Sage Mode, I will go with Ryujin to the stars for as long as it fucking takes to destroy the Otsutsuki Clan. I swear on my gunbai and my brother's life, see if I don't!"

"That's not fair!" The other teen protested, making a slashing motion with the Raijin no Ken still in hand, accidentally unleashing a bolt of lightning in a random direction, making a bunch of shinobi leap out of the way, running for their life. More than one jaw dropped as the implications hit them about what the teens were talking about.

"What isn't _fair_ is you dropping hints of a _marriage proposal_ in my lap out of the blue!"

"You speak as though the Uchiha don't _live_ for that moment and we've been together for over _two years_! Why do you suddenly have a problem with this!?"

" _Me_?! Marry _him_!? _I would never_!?" Their older counterparts were busy pointing at each other like children with equally childish looks of disgust on their faces.

"Oh, shut the fuck up! You think he's hot!" The youngsters snapped before turning to each other, glares firmly in place. Naruto wondered how the most dangerous, devastating war in shinobi history had become a lover's spat from a different dimension. This seemed beyond even the normal Konoha standards of crazy. "I don't have a problem with it! But you can't just drop a big fucking hint like that out of the blue! We've never even talked about this-"

"I thought we have, given you've been urging me for almost three years now to find a way to genetically make Hyuton and then Sharingan science babies-"

"That was _not_ a Go Ahead for marriage!"

" _Can_ you?" Sasuke's question stopped them in their tracks, making them look at him in confusion. "Make Sharingan babies with science?"

"And why would you need Hyuton babies?" Hatake Kakashi managed to edge in his own question.

"I'm working on it and because Madara adopted Yuki Haku and Momochi Zabuza a couple of years ago and they are now the Daimyo's court's favorite escort ninja."

"Haku and Zabuza are alive!?" An excited Naruto all but screeched and Madara and Tobirama the teens gave him an utterly unimpressed look.

"Still definitely and completely unimpressive."

"You think everyone but Itachi-sama is unimpressive."

"Itachi-sama _was_ impressive."

"I won't argue facts but I'm also stating one, too."

"Wait, you never said you met Itachi!" Sasuke protested and the two gave him strange looks again.

"You never asked," Tobirama junior pointed out.

"No, I quite specifically _did_!"

" _No_ ," Madara the younger drawled. "You asked what happened to him, not if we _met_ him. And besides, he didn't. Mito and I did. He was too busy not-helping fight Sasuke on the other side of the country-"

"Fuck you, the fucking Tsuchikage wouldn't let me fight! Arrogant old cot. I showed _him_. Hmph!"

"-and Mito and Killer B ran off before the real fighting could start because they had to intercept Tobi - Obito, the fake Sasuke - before he could get too close to our war headquarters, which left me to deal with Itachi-sama and Uzumaki Nagato-"

"You fought them _alone_ and survived to tell about it!?" Naruto screeched, bringing Madara junior up short.

"Yees," he stressed the answer. "Well, Itachi-sama helped. He needed a distraction long enough so he can start using his crow pact and then he used Kotoamatsukami with Shisui-sama's eye that he had implanted into his most trusted crow. Kuro Onyx helped free him from the controlling influence of Edo Tensei and then he passed on to me his Sword of Totsuka-"

"I will _never_ forgive you that you didn't give me a chance to study it. I've researched the thing for _years_! Why do _you_ get to see it and I _don't_ until you use it the one and only time you'll be able to!?" Young Tobirama crossed his arms and pouted and Hashirama cooed out of the blue about how cute he was. It earned him a double red-eyed glare.

"- and the Yata Mirror and somehow gave me his pact with Kuro Onyx to boot before he ran off to stop Kabuto and Orochimaru, which he did successfully, might I add, and dispelled the Edo Tensei. He's been in the Pure Lands since, hopefully at peace and resting and enjoying himself with his friends and family. We haven't exactly _checked_."

"You have the Kotoamatsukami!?" Obito yelled, sounding offended and irked.

"No," young Madara drew out the answer. "My crow does. And yes, duck's ass hairdo, it _is_ my crow now. It has been for two years so fucking deal with it." Sasuke seemed to be fairly fuming at that. "Now, are we done here? Because it looks like we're done here and I'd rather go back home before our evening is completely ruined."

"I thought it already was," young Tobirama snarked, earning himself a glare. "Okay, fine, sorry I blindsided you with it. I'll be sure to drop a better hint next time."

" _'When I propose, I definitely won't be like that'_ is _not_ a fucking hint!"

"We're not done here," older Madara said, snapping everyone's attention back to him. There was steel in his expression again, his Rinnegan eyes spelling business.

"At least put an Amaterasu damned shirt on so we can take you seriously!" His younger counterpart yelled and while the older one didn't grace that with a verbal acknowledgement, his armor reformed over his chest again even as he continued as though he hadn't been interrupted by his own alternate self.

"While it's all well and good that you have _your_ Izuna, I want _mine_ back! I want my _family_ back! I want my _clan_ safe and alive and happy and that is why I can't let Tsuki no Me to go to waste."

"It's really not what you think," Tobirama junior tried to explain but all he got for his efforts was a huge fireball aimed straight at him, which he evaded by flashing out of existence to appear next to his partner. "Very well. If a fight is what you want-"

"A fight you shall have!" Teen Madara finished, fishing his gunabi out of seemingly nowhere. The two teens didn't seem to say anything at all, didn't even nod their heads or exchange some eye contact and yet, a second later, in perfect sync, they whirled to be back to back, hands clasped in front of themselves and their chakra affinities coming out in spirals of water and fire, clashing once as opposites before seamlessly combining and the shinobi indigenous to this dimension _gawked_ as actual _liquid fire_ surged at the reanimated Uchiha Madara. "Ekitai Kasai no Jutsu!"

"They never said anything about being able to do _that_!" Ino shouted, almost hissing at the sizzling heat.

Adult Madara repelled the attack with his gubai, but teen Madara was right behind it, Susanoo forming around him as he delivered a bunch that was caught by an identical Susanoo, Rinnegan glaring into Mangekyo Sharingan. Then teen Madara smiled and _vanished_ , gone in an instant, replaced instead by Tobirama with Raijin no Ken, infused by natural energy to cut through the Susanoo's defense. Adult Madara tried to push him back with Shinra Tensei but teen Madara manifested at his side again, gunbai placed as a shield and repelling the attack back at the other. It went on and on like that for a few turns before Madara charged a kunai with futon chakra and Tobirama added natural energy to let it pierce through the elder's Susanoo, which Madara caught caught when the teens threw it at him. Madara and Tobirama junior then vanished again, completely, only for Tobirama to reappear inside of the Susanoo, Raijin no Ken raised over his head and almost managing to split Madara in two in an eerie replica of how he'd fought Sasuke, only this Madara used the chakra absorption powers of the Rinnegan to absorb the attack before sending the weapon flying out of Tobirama's hands, going in to slit his throat with the kunai he still had in hand-

Only for teen Madara to appear again and send _him_ flying with his own Shinra Tensei.

"He has the Rinnegan, to!?" Obito screeched even as he sent fireballs flying at the teens and Tobirama answered with a tsunami wave.

"We've said we've been through this shit before," the foreign Senju huffed, picking up his favored weapon again. "You're lucky you didn't damage it or else I'd kill you right now."

"You can't kill an Edo Tensei," older Madara bit out, pushing his hair out of the way, looking a bit impressed. "Impressive. It took the Five Kage some considerable effort to land a single solid hit on me and yet you two have managed to trip me up just there."

"Don't think we can't," Madara junior huffed as his partner had. "This guy here knows Edo Tensei better than its creator. Hell, he even managed to develop an Edo Tensei that doesn't require a living sacrifice!"

"You _have_!?" Quite a few voices shouted at once, younger Tobirama shrugging as though it were no big deal.

"The reanimations are weaker and not nearly as durable and depend entirely on the summoner's chakra, but at least no one's getting killed."

"That's not the point," Madara the teenager said with a gleeful smirk. "Thanks to him, Team Disaster knows _exactly_ how to dispel Edo Tensei no matter _who_ the caster was or if the reanimation broke the contract and went solo and we can break or put under control any of the reanimations. In short, if you don't stop this nonsense _now_ , we will _force_ you back into the Pure Lands."

"I thought _you_ , of all people, would _understand_ -"

"Infinite Tsukuyomi enslaves people for eternity while feeding off of their chakra, forming something called the Chakra Fruit on the God Tree, which the Otsutsuki Clan harvest to gain or retain power. Otsutsuki Kaguya, centuries ago, landed on Earth to watch over the God Tree planted here until the Chakra Fruit is ripe for the taking, but she fell in love with a human and gave birth to twins, Hagoromo and Hamura, the Sage of Six Paths and the supposed Shinigami. Long story short, she became paranoid and crazy, sacrificing humans to the God Tree until they sealed her away inside of the celestial body now called the Moon. The Sage then had two of his own sons, Indra and Ashura Otsutsuki, and he shared his power with them and thus was born Ninshu and some such nonsense," young Madara summarized.

"Unfortunately, Hagoromo didn't know at the time that his mother - the Mother of All Chakra in myths, as you may know her, being an Uchiha and all - had created a physical manifestation of her will called Zetsu or Black Zetsu whose ultimate goal is her revival,for which he needed the Rinnegan, the Jinchuriki or the Juubi and Six Paths chakra. The Rinnegan, as you no doubt know given that you have it, can only be achieved by combining Uchiha and Senju or Uzumaki chakra. as the descendants of Indra and Ashura respectively. Black Zetsu has been trying to achieve this for centuries, starting with Indra and almost succeeding with Sasuke, who shares your role in our world. Infinite Tsukuyomi might create the perfect dream but it kills the dreamers slowly and creates an army of White Zetsu to do Kaguya's bidding and the caster, the Juubi Jinchuriki, once they gain the Rinne-Sharingan, can be turned into her vessel if Black Zetsu pumps them with the chakra from the God Tree." Young Tobirama picked up where his partner left off explaining. "Sasuke inflated like a balloon and popped, leaving Kaguya in his place. We very nearly didn't defeat her and we're considerably stronger than those children down there."

"Hey! We're only a few years younger than you!" Sakura yelled, offended.

"It won't bring peace," Madara junior continued as though she hadn't said anything. "It will just kill everyone, like it destroyed Ryujin's world. Like it had destroyed countless others. If he died, then Izuna is in the Pure Lands, waiting for you to hear all your stories, right along with the rest of your family. We can guarantee that much. We spoke with our Uzumaki Naruto moments before Sasuke died after having the Juubi extracted from him."

"But then ... All this time, all my efforts ... They've been for noth-"

" **Madara-sama,why are we falling behind schedule on the plan? The Moon is nearly at its peak!** " The adult Madara was interrupted suddenly by the emergence of Black Zetsu from the ground, still hosted by a White Zetsu clone, looking impatient and confused. Then its eyes landed on the additional Uchiha Madara and Senju Tobirama and its brain seems to short circuit. Then a sick grin spreads across its face. " ** _Two_ Madaras? How delightful! I wonder which one would Mother prefer? We even have one with the Rinnegan who we don't need to worry about reviving!**"

It happened instantly. The teens were immediately in front of the reanimated Madara, young Madara at the very front so they could _all_ clearly see the instant that his midnight black hair faded to moon white, skin turned paler than Tobirama's, the purple mantel seemed to be covered by chakra until he had white robes with black decorations, horn-like protrusions appearing on his forehead like a split headband and a third, red eye that looked like a combination of the Sharingan and the Rinnegan opened in the middle. With a Sun-Moon staff in hand, the teen Madara took a menacing step towards the gobsmacked Zetsu.

"Think again, motherfucker!"

" **But _how_! You don't have the Juubi's chakra inside of you! _How_ could you _possibly_ -**"

"Why bother with the Juubi when I can steal chakra from Otsutsuki Kaguya herself?" Young Madara asked with a predatory grin before an unbearable wave of killing intent washed over the ruined battlefield. The entire Shinobi Alliance fell on their asses, overwhelmed, and adult Tobirama had to catch himself on Hashirama to prevent himself from fainting under the sudden assault. Even adult Madara seemed a bit dizzy by it - he definitely wasn't expecting _that_ perk to still be actively used by any version of himself - while young Tobirama seemed completely at home, as though this was an everyday occurrence. "Make it fun and run, will you?"

Black Zetsu bolted, Madara _flying_ after it with a laugh that sent chills down everyone's bones.

"Well, at least Madara gets to blow off some steam," a new, female voice, heavily tinged with amusement, mused, making everyone whirl around to stare at the elegant redhead in a pretty kimono and two buns on her head smirk in the direction where there were _purple chakra lasers_ being fired and the entire ground upturned with little more than a wave of a hand as Madara junior hunted Zetsu. She blinked in a bit of confusion when she saw adult Tobirama and Hashirama. "What happened to you two?"

"Mushroom alergy in my favorite stirred mushroom soup," Hashirama answered sheepishly, making the redhead and young Tobirama and pretty much everyone _gape_ because no one had actually quite known the cause of death for the Shodaime Hokage, the so called God of Shinobi. Adult Madara actually snorted, as though he'd been expecting as much. The redhead arched an eyebrow at him as he walked over with Uchiha Obito, who seemed to be trying to avoid Hatake Kakashi as best he could, to little to no effect, before turning that same arched eyebrow at adult Tobirama.

"Kinkaku and Ginkaku."

The redhead nodded. "Ah, threats we can neutralize easily back home. And you?" She turned to adult Madara, who immediately glared at the fidgeting brunet reanimation.

"Hashirama."

"WHAT!?" Hissed young Tobirama, glaring death at the alternate version of his brother.

"He was attacking Konoha with the Kyuubi no Yoko! He was completely mad!"

"I am Kyuubi no _Kitsune_ , mind you," with a pop of smoke to mark his appearance, said a horse sized fox with nine tails in a deep, rumbling voice with a red-eyed glare aimed at the Shodaime Hokage, who _gawked_ while almost every other Konoha shinobi _flinched_ or outright fainted upon seeing him. "And even if he _was_ mad, that's no excuse to kill your so called best friend _from behind_!"

"How did you know it was from behind!?"

The redhead's and the younger Tobirama's eyes turned _deadly_ , deadlier than the growl that the Kyuubi unleashed.

"Anija, run," reanimated Tobirama advised and did nothing to stop the alternate versions of himself and his sister-in-law from destroying every fiber of his brother's being. He looked curiously at his foxy companion and couldn't help but ask. "How _did_ you know, anyway?"

"Training accident some years ago. Our log brain nearly killed Madara by accident. He's still kicking himself up about it."

"Ah." In the considerable distance - damn, Zetsu could _run_ when motivated, it would seem - there was a a rumble like a thunderstorm before the Shinobi Alliance was treated to _two_ impossibly massive, identical dragons descending from the heavens, giving each other a side glance before going off after Madara to presumably help him in his hunt. "Should we be worried?"

"Just be grateful I never called on Ryujin in our clan wars, Senju bastard." The white haired reanimation whirled around, only now realizing he had _completely forgotten Uchiha Madara was_ right there in all the confusion. The reanimated Uchiha huffed, turning his head away as though he were far too interested in watching the usually cool Kakashi trying to catch Obito and squeeze the life right out of him with an overdue reconciliation, relieving and reuniting hug with this world's version of Namikaze Minato watching with nonexistent tears in his dead eyes. "I guess since we'll have an eternity in the Pure Lands we should probably let bygones be bygones instead of ruining our afterlife hating each other."

"Izuna and I are best friends," he found himself blurting out unexpectedly, earning himself a whipped head and dagger-sharp eyes. "He apparently got over me stabbing him in the years it took me to join the Pure Lands. He might be pissed a bit about how the Uchiha have treated you and has spent quite a number of years relentlessly pranking and 'trolling' - I believe is the right word - them into submission. Your mother helped. I think the biggest surprise was seeing Tajima and Butsuma bonding over sake when _my_ mother got in on it. Our younger brothers seem to get along fine. Kagami lived a long life, to his sixties, apparently. He died just before the massacre. I think you'll like it."

A huge explosion in the distance lit up the night, giving everyone the perfect distraction not to catch Madara giving the reanimated Senju his hand to shake. "To new endings, then.

"To new endings."

00000

Hours later, when young Madara finally took mercy - for a liberal value of the word - on Black Zetsu and just incinerated it, destroyed the Gedo Statue and both the Rinnegan eyes, young Tobirama released Uchiha Madara, Senju Tobirama, Senju Hashirama - who looked traumatized, might I add - Sarutobi Hiruzen and Namikaze Minato from the Edo Tensei to go to their well deserved rest after many tearful goodbyes. Team Disaster then showed some of the cause behind their infamy, surprising everyone when they offered to heal the entire _army_ as though they were used to doing it. Then again, given they managed a good third before they activated the _Byakugo seals_ they had on their foreheads or utilized natural energy/biju chakra/Six Paths chakra, they probably _did_. The Godaime sure as hell was stunned to learn that _she'd_ been the one to coin them as some of the most valuable medics in the world - or an alternate version of her that was the _Sandaime_ in their world - but the other medics greatly appreciated their help as it meant more lives saved.

The two dragons - Ryujin, both of them - stayed while the reanimated Madara had still been there, the Ryujin of this world catching up with his last summoner before he went away to never again interact with humans since all of his kin was now gone while the other Ryujin stayed so he could return with _his_ Madara. In the meantime, they had totally decimated the God Tree and any White Zetsu that remained until nothing of it could be recognized. Hashirama and adult Tobirama, who had still been there to see the results, were _definitely_ happy that they had never faced Ryujin in battle back during the clan wars. Reanimated Madara had laughed his ass off at their reactions.

Eventually, as dawn broke over the eastern horizon, Team Disaster deemed it time they returned to their own home dimension, not really sparing much time to say their goodbyes other than telling Naruto _very_ sternly to respect his inhabitant and to not call on them again. Given how freaked out he was by young Madara's third eye, he will probably listen for once.

With a simple overloading of a Hiraishin marker, Team Disaster disappeared from the alternate dimension and instead returned to their own, where their friends and family welcomed them with open - drunken - arms, not really having been all that worried - no one really worried about the three teens who'd almost singlehandedly saved the world with some outside assistance - and instead having had been enjoying the festival.

Tobirama shook his head as he watched a blind-drunk Izuna try to guide an equally sloshed Touka back to her house and Mito try to wrestle Hashirama back to the main Senju house, his mother tugging along a dazed looking Ryukyu-sama, unable to believe their nearest and dearest had indulged so much alcohol in so little time. They'd been gone for barely an hour for all that they'd spent a whole night in a different universe. Still, the festival seemed to be winding down and he and Madara were no longer needed to patrol since the night shift had officially started. He sighed, deeming his night over and turning to leave for home, too, when a familiar gloved hand caught his wrist gently, stopping him in his tracks.

When he looked over, Madara seemed to be trying to decide whether he wanted to hide behind his hair or not. "I thought we'd made each other some promises tonight."

A smile split Tobirama's lips, fond and happy and a bit predatory as he remembered _Madara's_ part of the promise. "Yes, I believe we have."

The Uchiha rolled his eyes up at him - Tobirama will never get enough pleasure out of being the taller one now and probably for the rest of their lives, too - but smiled and tugged at his wrist, unerringly following his seemingly inarizushi-sixth sense, all the while keeping eye contact. Not that either of them needed eyes to 'see' where they were going, given how strong sensors they were. "Good. I believe you owe me inarizushi. You can even try to sell this 'marriage proposal' idea to me again with more grace. I might even pay attention."

His heart skipped a beat. It couldn't be helped. Years ago - fourteen almost, to be exact - he'd claimed Madara as _his_ , the meaning behind it changing until he realized he was irrevocably in love with his first ever friend and now, or soon enough, _finally_ he might be able to make the claim official in the eyes of the law and the world.

"I'll give it my best shot," he answered, trying for condescending but ending up genuine and maybe a bit too eager and Madara laughed, drew him down in for a short kiss that still held so many promises before drawing back and dragging him to his favorite food stall.

Tobirama idly wondered if their's or Mito's wedding will be a greater disaster.

OWARI

**Author's Note:**

> That's it for this 'verse! I hope you liked it! Please tell me what you think! Have a nice day!


End file.
